More Poetry

I've been going through another transformation, but this time the answers to long asked questions are coming. It's a time of revelation in a new way for me and it pours out through this medium. I am answering myself and others in my life, many times these are one and the same. These are as honest as always, brutally so at times - but if I am not honest with myself, how can I learn and grow beyond it? Take it as a voice of my Nows, each and every now as it happens.

Loves!

"Moon's ditty"

Thirteen moons on her forehead
Three on her arm
and if you're an ass
She'll show you her largest Moon of all.


"To Everyone"

Why do we struggle so?
There is no need
Once we come home
- Not to some box storing
Things that sparkle and beep.
- To our heart
Which is always
Right there
Within us
Keeping us going
Whether we
Pay attention to it
Or not.
And sometimes we feel
Joy
To the point of bursting
And sometimes we feel
Sorrow
To the point of drowning
The thing is
When you're home
It's alright to feel it
No one can tell you
Otherwise
But you have to
Look for it
And accept it as yours
Move in
Explore around
Make it yours completely
Nobody can take it from you
Or destroy it
You can't sell it
And would you try?
For you will find that it
Changes with you
To always suit your
Exact needs
Here
There is no struggle
There is no strife
Only Peace
And the most perfect
Love
You will ever
Experience
No longer will you need
To search for approval
From outside sources
Or to prove who you are
For you know
Even with every
Chrysalis change
Exactly
Who you are.
-
Welcome home.
RMRF 08

"Who's Bad?"

"Because I'm bad, come on, you know it." MJ

I can't get myself together
Worked for years to get this life
Went on the Willy Wonka ride
Learned how to control my appetites
What I'm worth
Compared to the material world
And found that I am
Not
One of those girls.
Shrinking down to what my culture
Deems is right and true
Whether or not it is natural
And I find that I starve more from the fact that
I cannot stomach the tastes of my society
Whatever that might be...
Everyone knows their way
Is the correct way
To do
The Dodo Dance
And it isn't yours,
Buddy.
It definitely isn't mine.
Hold onto your heartstrings
and paisleys
It's always a bumpy ride
And this zoo doesn't
Get the concept of
Seatbelts.
We see the truth blindly
The spots before our eyes
Preventing full disclosure
Are simply the shadow ones
Whom we ignored
Until they could stand in our way
Peer into our windows
Block our view of the big picture.
Everyone said if I did everything right
And learned the proper ways
And said Howdoyoudo
My life would be
Oh
So
Much
Better
But I'm falling apart here
It's not going
According to the script.
Who let the freelancer in?
- -
Oh Yeah
That's me.
I have a hard time conforming
I've found that bullshit is bullshit
Whether it's full of chemicals
or organic
Whether it's flung from pulpits
or earthships.
So how do I put this ovoid citizen
Back together again?
There are no magickal steeds
or knights, this time
Maybe it's better this way
Only I know where all the pieces
Go.
RMRF 08

"Kinda"
I'm really on the ball man
I know what I want
It's firmly planted
In my mind
I'll get around to it
One of these days
It's the Holiday
Lazybones Syndrome
HLS
I don't want to do a damned thing
Wishing there were invisible
Servants who could
Do all the cleaning
The sewing
Finish my projects for me...
Like that's going to happen
I can barely get my friends to
Hang out with me
A majority of the time
Talk about feeling like a reject.
I try to figure it out
But I no longer can
Be the one
Who is the keeper
Of the communication
This switchboard operator
Is out to lunch
And Lord knows
When I'm coming back
I think I found a smorgasbord
Of dreams I need to catch up on
Ideas I want for myself
Not to be given away as so many before
I want to see how I do
On my own
In my business world
With a partner
In my private world
But it feels like I can't do either
At the moment.
Am I stopping me
Or is it not the right time
Or is it all the same thing
And I'm just naming quarks?
Quite possible
More than likely probable
Doesn't everyone name
The tiny universes which make
Up their entire being?
Either I'm ahead of the game
Or way behind
Guess it all depends on
Where your perspective comes from.
Mines a-sexual
Gender that is
Seems I got it from my Ma
Not feeling like I'm either sex, really
And how does that change my
Interactions with the world at large?
I guess as much as I let it
Though I've noticed
The more I get mixed up
With the greater
Out There
The more I hear I have
A higher quantity of
Masculine Traits
Than the average she-bear.
Yet there is no mistaking my
Born set of chromosomes.
Maybe I'm Omnigendered
or just okay with both sides of my psyche.
So many things to explore
And I wonder
About all the wonder
In all the universes
And what the being looks like
Of which my universe is just another
Quark in their entire make up.
See?
I've got it all together
I know what I'm all about
I know what I want
...
Kinda.
RMRF 08

"Muse on My Back"
I've got a Muse on my back
It whispers in my ear
Has my hair in its grasp
Directing me
Turning me this way and that
Now a painting
Now the words spill forth
And now
Ladies and Gentlemen
Creatures of all ages
It's time for an event!
Let us wow and amaze you
Show you Portals
Where the Dreamworld spills through!
You won't believe your eyes
And will wonder if the Sandman
Hasn't snuck up on you!
I hope.
At least that's what the Muse
On my back says
Showing me glimpses of what
Is waiting to be done.
It's already there
I've already done it
In the space and time where there is
No space and time
But all happens Now.
So all I have to do is
Do it
And trust that its already
A success
After all, who am I to doubt
The Muse on my back.
RMRF 08

(this next is the long one, Georgey)

"Fair Play"

Some say I'm too tough
Hard to comprehend
Hard to deal with
Hard to love
Some say I'm too soft
Easy to push over
Easy to manipulate
Easy to love
It is hard to explain
Easy to cave in
Just shut up
And let the others do their thing
Think what they want
Do what they want
Hold no on accountable
For their actions
We all mess up
We all have faults
We all have lives
After All.
But if we hold no one
Especially ourselves
Accountable
For our actions
For our reactions
For our inactions
Then how do we live?
Responsibility is a big word
And a bigger deed
We are in this life
To learn
And teach
Every moment
Every breath
Every heartbeat
What we get out of it
Is up to us
Alone
Individually
Subjectively
We can do no more
Good
In this life
In this world
In this universe
Than to be the best
Student
Teacher
Partner
To everyone around us
Including ourselves
That we can be
We must not judge
That one person's way
Is better than another
Simply that it is
A different point of view
A different way of living
A different style of loving
The blind can get along
Without the one-eyed man
And if he thinks himself king
Because of his sight
It will only be until
The novelty of him
Has worn off
For the blind have
Everything mapped out
Each step counted
Every object
Accounted for and memorized
Those with sight
Move things around
Step outside the lines
Wonder what is beyond
We can no more
Cause someone to awaken
Than we can restore
Sight to the blind
Hearing to the deaf
Voice to the mute
Though we can offer them
New ways to explore
Their world
Tell our tales
Without expecting
Any of it
To be heard
To be understood
To be believed.
For us to try to understand
Within ourselves
That all find out
Exactly what they need to know
When they need to know it
In ways only they can know it
And sometimes
We are the messenger
Bearing tidings of great joy
And sometimes
We are the lunatic
Ranting unheard on the corner
It doesn't matter what you think
You are
Except to yourself
And you can never
Ever
Make someone see you
Any other way
Than the way that
They do.
Words
Actions
Beliefs
Are up for random
Interpretation
And if you want to be
Unconditionally accepted
For your unique being
Then it's time to ante up
Folks
Because
Turnabout
Is Definitely
Fair Play.
RMRF 08

3 New Poems

"Divided"

There is a confusion in my brain
My heart refuses to give counsel
My belly is too busy
Either untying itself
Or chasing butterflies
To pay heed.
Its hectic messages
Simply bruise the confusion in my brain.
The answer is there
With a neon glare
Which my Id refuses to acknowledge.
If I can love two sides to the same coin
Why must I insist that the coin represent
Two beings only?
Surely this can be experienced
On a macro scale
Finding the balance of all within the universe
Seeing we all belong to both sides of
The celestial coin
And can love all as we love one.
That there is truly no difference
In the types of love
Only those names we have placed upon it
Which are so varied as to create a dictionary
On that word alone.
My Id screeches at these truths
Ego joins in the noise
What about the different kinds of relationships?
Is this an Oedipus complex?
No, I've simply been taught that love has many faces
And each is completely different than the others
Each is a separate kind of love
And their boundaries rarely cross.
This
However
Is not so.
Love may have many faces
But each one is fitted over the same exact thing.
However it is manifest
At its core there is no division
The coin is one with infinite sides.
Binding it all, creating it all, destroying it all,
Being All
Is Love.
We are not ready for this
Whispers my heart from its restoration bed
Recovering from its last beating.
To some we show love
To others scorn
The ways to either are ridiculous.
How can we love All
When we behave this way and do not
Want to stop?
Patience is the key
Followed by learning
And conscious observing.
It seems I am running out of excuses.
My gut cries to run away
It can't take it much longer
All this upheaval and Truth.
For the belly betrays us first in all risky matters
And Love is said to be the riskiest of all.
So my mind looks away
Follows a glittering trail
Let Ole Subconscious take a swing.
This is right down its favorite rabbit hole
Usually it reminds the rest what was decided
During its time in the Dreaming.
That magickal place where anything does happen
And all answers are easily known.
If only I could remember how to do that
Here
There would not be a confusion in my brain.


"Sadhu"

To live
Seems to mean
To struggle.
Buddha teaches that when we
Release all of our desires
Our expectations
Our assumptions
Then too shall our suffering pass.
There is a part of me which
Cheers
And yet another which
Rails
In response to this.
It seems on the surface to ask
Us to cease to be human.
But isn't that what the search for enlightenment
Is about?
To become something more than human?
To elevate into a higher No-Thing?
However
In this search we forget that
The quest itself is
A desire
An expectation
An assumption
That there is something to
Work
Towards.
Only when we release
Even this need to be
Something other than what
We are
Does that mysterious
Phenomenon happen.
Or does it?
It seems so easy at times
To let go
Let it all slip from my grasp
And find that place
Which is
No place
And
All places at once.
Something always calls me back
And I find myself
Toiling
Stumbling
Struggling
Suffering
And I have to ask
Why?
What pulls on my silver cord
And grounds me back to this
Fleshly cage
With all of its
Aches and pains
Tortures and torments?
I don't understand
Maybe I'm not supposed to
And this grasping
For knowledge
On the whys
Of human suffering
Is just another thing
I must lay by the wayside
Say
Adieu
And never look back.
If only it were that effortless
Perhaps I am distantly related to
Lot's wife.
Destined to become a pillar of salt
When I cannot turn my back on
That which I love.
Disobeying the Divine
Distrusting that there should be no
Last sight
It seems straightforward
The Divine sees what we mortals do not
But if we are all a part of the Divine
Is it impossible for us to know it all as well?
This appears to be the case for the masses
And for me
As I am not a Bodhisattva
Yet.

"Twirl"

Limits do not exist
They are creations of the mind
Time and Space do not exist
They are creations of the Mind
Fear on the ladder up the genome
Its every 2nd rung
And we can't seem to get rid of it.
Fear is the father of all destruction
Fear breeds ranks
Of Anger
Distrust
Paranoia
Violence
When faced with a radical new view
Fear does his dance
Hoping we will turn away
Or smash until comprehension is
No longer available.
Please check your number and dial again.
You have now entered
The
Void.
That place of Zen No-Thingness.
Here is the black where all colors
Are in the same space
At the same time.
Where there is no separation
One from another.
All co-exists harmoniously
And we consider the Dark side
To be the place of hell.
White is the absence of all color
Within it nothing exists at all
It is true oblivion.
And we consider the Light side
To be the place of heaven.
And yet
And yet
Fear declares that oblivion is the enemy
We must find any way possible
To become
Immortal.
(Dunt Dunt Duuunnn!)
Have you found Waldo yet?
We live in a paradoxical reality
Dictated by our Most Holy Lord
Fear
And His Most High and Mighty
Likes to keep us hiding in the dark
Longing for the light
While holding us in ignorance to the
True Nature
Of both.
Even when we glimpse it
If Fear gets to us before anything else
We turn our backs on the Truth
And try to destroy all evidence
Of its existence.
Maybe the way out
Is just to twirl
And keep twirling
So that Fear can't ever get into our view
And can't even get a hold on us.
Possibly the Dervishes have something
Going with their rites.
We would see
All
If we set our spirits
To twirling.
Don't worry about where
The music will come from.
The universe is already
Providing it.